(A Ridiculously Honest Guide to Blending In… or At Least Trying, have a laugh please .. tipycal italian sense of humour )
Let’s be honest: if you’re reading this, you’re probably a tourist. And that’s okay! Venice exists because of tourists — or at least that’s what the guy at the souvenir shop told me after selling me a €12 magnet shaped like a gondola.
But if you’re asking yourself:
“How do I not look like a tourist in Venice?”
What you really mean is:
“How do I not look like a lost, sweaty, selfie-stick-waving, pigeon-fearing cruise-lander in Venice?”
And that… is a noble goal, my friend.
At Tour Leader Venice, we’ve seen it all — the map-folders, the croc-wearers, the “Where’s the Leaning Tower?” people. We love them. But we also love helping visitors blend in a bit, even if just enough to avoid being charged €9 for a Coke or asked for directions by other confused tourists.
So here it is: your funny, semi-practical guide to looking (somewhat) like a local in Venice.
1. Ditch the Giant Map That Unfurls Like a Sail
We get it. Venice is confusing. Streets loop. Canals interrupt your best-laid plans. Google Maps has a meltdown every time you enter a campo.
But nothing screams “I am not from here” louder than a massive paper map being opened like you’re about to chart a voyage to the New World.
Pro Tip: Download an offline map. Or better yet, look confidently lost. Italians do this all the time. Just stop, squint thoughtfully at a building, nod like you’ve made a major discovery, and walk off with purpose. Even if it’s the wrong direction. Confidence is 90% of looking like a local.
2. No Cargo Shorts. I Repeat: No. Cargo. Shorts.
You may love pockets. Pockets are great. But nothing says “American tourist in July” quite like cargo shorts, a fanny pack (sorry — belt bag), white socks, and New Balance sneakers.
Venetians have style. Even their toddlers wear tailored coats in the winter. Their dogs wear scarves.
If you want to blend in:
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Wear linen shirts, neutral colors, and shoes that don’t scream “I hike in these!”
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If it’s summer, ditch the flip-flops unless you’re actually on a boat.
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No backpacks the size of a hiking expedition — they knock over wine bottles in shops and scare small children.
(Disclaimer: If you’re over 65 and retired, you’ve earned the right to wear whatever you want. You’ve won at life.)
3. Stop Yelling in English — They Still Won’t Understand You
This is a universal tourist issue. You ask for directions, and when someone doesn’t understand, you just say the same thing but louder. Suddenly, the square is echoing with:
“WHERE. IS. THE. WATER. BUS. TICKET. THINGY?”
Venetians aren’t hard of hearing. They just don’t know what “thingy” means.
Instead, try:
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Saying it slower, not louder.
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Learning five magic words: “Scusi, parla inglese per favore?”
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Smiling like you’re not about to combust from stress and jet lag.
We promise: they’ll try their best to help you. Venetians are kind, if mildly amused by our pronunciation of “Rialto.”
4. Don’t Feed the Pigeons — Unless You Want a Venice Mugshot
We know — the pigeons in St. Mark’s Square look friendly. Some may even land on your head like you’re a Disney princess. But please resist the urge to throw breadcrumbs and pose for a photo titled “Birds Gone Wild.”
Feeding pigeons is illegal in Venice. You can get fined. Plus, these pigeons are not your friends. They are tiny winged gangsters who will stalk your gelato.
Want birds? Go to Burano and meet the seagulls. They scream at you from rooftops but don’t demand snacks.
5. Don’t Order a Cappuccino After 11:00 AM (Unless You Enjoy Being Judged)
This is the most sacred of Italian unwritten rules. Want to look local? Don’t order a frothy, milky cappuccino at 3 PM after lunch. Italians believe this is a crime against digestion.
Instead:
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In the morning: Espresso or cappuccino, with a cornetto (croissant).
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After meals: Un caffè (aka espresso). It’s small. It’s strong. It makes you feel like James Bond.
If you absolutely need a Starbucks-sized iced caramel something, do it privately and tell no one.
6. Ride a Vaporetto Like a Local, Not a Lost Pirate
The vaporetto (water bus) is Venice’s subway system. It’s great. But tourists often ride it like they’ve never been on public transportation before.
Please don’t:
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Push to the front yelling, “Is this the one to Murano?” without checking the sign.
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Stand in the middle of the exit like a confused flamingo.
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Clap when it docks safely. It’s not a cruise ship.
Do:
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Validate your ticket before boarding.
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Let locals get on first — especially elderly Venetians going to the market.
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Stand in the back for the best views. That’s the unofficial VIP spot.
7. Say “Grazie” Like You Mean It
Venetians appreciate manners — and a little effort.
Say:
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“Grazie mille!” (A thousand thanks!)
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“Buongiorno” in the morning
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“Buona sera” in the evening
Avoid:
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“Grassy-ass” (Please… just don’t)
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Tipping like you’re in New York (rounding the bill or 1-2 euros is fine)
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Demanding “tap water” with aggressive eye contact. Just ask politely. (“Posso avere dell’acqua del rubinetto?” if you’re feeling fancy.)
8. Stop Trying to Take a Gondola for €20 — It’s Never Going to Happen
Gondolas are beautiful, romantic, and… expensive. They’re €80 for 30 minutes during the day, and more in the evening. That’s the rate. That’s been the rate.
Yet somehow, every day, a visitor tries to bargain with a gondolier like they’re haggling over a rug in Marrakesh.
Don’t do it.
Want the gondola magic without the gondola price? Try:
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Traghetto — a €2 gondola ferry across the Grand Canal. Locals use it. You stand. It’s brief. But it’s real.
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Private boat tour with Tour Leader Venice — no haggling, no surprises, just a peaceful ride with stories and style.
9. Don’t Stop in the Middle of a Bridge to Check Your Phone
Venice has 400+ bridges. Most are narrow. If you stop halfway across to check Google Maps, take a selfie, or explain to your partner that no, this is NOT the Rialto Bridge, you will:
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Cause a traffic jam.
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Get dirty looks from locals.
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Possibly be bumped by a fast-walking Venetian who’s late for lunch.
Step aside. Find a corner. Then argue about directions.
10. Do Something Venetians Actually Do
Want to look less like a tourist? Act like a local.
Here are some real Venetian activities:
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Read the paper with a tiny espresso at a corner café
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Take a slow walk at sunset on the Zattere or Riva degli Schiavoni
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Shop at the fish market and argue about sardines
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Watch a regatta or attend a random saint’s festival you can’t pronounce
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Join a food tour with locals (like ours!) and discover what real Venetian cuisine tastes like
Most Venetians don’t ride gondolas every day. But they do enjoy their city with dignified delight — and so can you.
Final Words: It’s Okay to Be a Tourist — Just Be a Cool One
Let’s face it — unless you were born in Venice, you’re always going to look a little like a tourist. You don’t speak the dialect. You don’t casually hop on a vaporetto with a cello case. You probably do still think “ciao bella” is a fun phrase.
And that’s fine.
Venetians are used to visitors. They’ve seen emperors, rockstars, poets, and confused cruise passengers. What they appreciate most? Curiosity, respect, and a little effort.
So come with good shoes, an open mind, and a big smile. You’ll never fully blend in — but you’ll be welcomed like a guest, not a walking stereotype.
Want to Travel Venice Like a Local?
Let Tour Leader Venice show you the side of the city most tourists miss. We offer:
✅ Private and small-group Venice walking tours
✅ Food tours with real Venetian cicchetti and wine
✅ Off-the-beaten-path excursions to Murano, Burano, and beyond
✅ Private Venice boat tours (with no haggling!)
✅ Fully licensed local guides who know every trick to make you look like a seasoned traveler
🧭 Visit www.tourleadervenice.com to book your next adventure — and yes, we’ll teach you how to pronounce “Grazie” the right way.
